Food

There is no food in the house. I say this because it is both a) true, and b) extremely upsetting to me. If I'm going to sit on my hiney all day and help people with their software problems, then by golly I'd better be able to shovel CheezIts into my ever-tiring maw.

Grrr. Is Lent over yet?

Mind you, Lent is not the reason we don't have any food. The main culprit is an upcoming trip out of state. Whenever we go out of town, my wife thinks it's a good idea not to go to the grocery store and to just use the food we have on-hand. I am not a fan of this idea, but it's not really my house.

What I am responsible for is creating meals out of what remains. This leads to entrees like . . . never mind. It's really gross.

So we have not been to the grocery store in two weeks. Okay, that's not exactly true. I made an emergency run on Monday night about 10:30, which is an unholy hour to be going to the grocery store.

I hate going grocery shopping that late for two reasons:
1. I should be in bed reading a book
2. Publix is closed, so I have to go to Kroger, and I hate Kroger.

I mean, I really hate Kroger. I like my grocery stores well lit, clean, and staffed by friendly and knowledgeable people. This perfectly describes our Publix, but is the exact opposite of each and every Kroger within 10 miles of my house.

But at 10:30 this past Monday, I was in "our" Kroger, which, at that time of night, is packed to the gills with weirdos. Admittedly, I was the only one there who was walking around mumbling to himself. But I was mumbling things like, "I really really hate Kroger," "Man, that milk section stinks to high heaven," and, "Where in @#$%& did they put the bread this week?"

This was an emergency run, so it included only necessary items, like my wife's favorite cereal, milk for her cereal, etc. Seriously though, it was just breakfast and lunch basics. I'm not allowed to be creative with breakfast, I guess.

Oddly, I did come home with a bottle of Beaujolais. I don't know how that happened, but it does explain why I'm usually only allowed to go grocery shopping on Sundays.

But soon, soon, oh happy day, I will get to make the Big Run. This, the most famous of grocery store trips, will include Costco (for industrial-size boxes of CheezIts), Publix (for smiling, happy people and clean aisles), and my favorite place of all, the Dekalb Farmer's Market.

More on that later.