Names - having only very little to do with children

Names are important. If you don't think so, just name your kid "Stupidhead" or "Poopeater" and see how many bruises he comes home with after the first day of school.

So I am hereby releasing to the public two of the greatest names, ever.

Loyal Clay - Pastor
My cousin got married a year or so ago at a tinsy little church (I assume it was Baptist) outside of Atlanta. The pastor's name was Loyal Clay, which I think is the best pastor name in the universe. Aren't we all, brother, aren't we all?

Nobody You'd Know - band name
When I was in high school, various friends of mine were in several gazillion bands, and some of us stayed up late one night making up band names. A year or so later, this one popped into my head. It's the greatest, most pretentious band name of all time.

"Who did you go see last night?" a friend might ask.

"Nobody You'd Know," you could answer, in all truthfullness, and snicker to your other friend, who was in on the joke. Stupid friend 1.

You are welcome to use the band name if you would please contact my lawyer first to sign some documents . . .